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October 23, 2005
Advice When Heading to New York
I'm heading to New York City for the day on Monday, so I figured that now would be the time to mention New York Survival Tips for tourists. Be regaled with advice such as:
As a tourist, the best places for you to get the most out of your New York experience can be found in Midtown, especially Times Square. Everyone walks at your speed there, and it's one of the few places you can safely take your camera out without having it snatched away by a local knife-carrying boy. So click away at the stunning neon be-decked architecture of Times Square, content in your safety. If you get tired or wish to partake in some of New York City's finest dining, you can always step into one of our world-famous chain restaurants conveniently located just north of the square. Some may recommend "Applebees," but may I suggest TGI Friday's? The world's largest TGI Friday's can be found within moment's walk of Times Square. New Yorkers love to eat, and so an hour in this quaint cavern of a restaurant will give you a chance to examine Gothamites in their element. While you watch, order the Jalepeno Poppers. Aren't they delish? "Delish" is Yiddish (that's Jewish speak) for "tasty." The secret is the Ranch dressing, slathered over everything.
Posted by Dean at October 23, 2005 10:48 PM
Comments
If you have a son you should name him "Jesus Burrito Christakos".
Posted by: Bill Gates at October 28, 2005 10:43 PM